So, I’ve been lucky enough to have some of the most awesome teammates in the world! The teammate I have right now get’s me and we speak openly. Now every teammate you have will not be the best teammate in the world. Some will secretly, or openly, be jealous of you. Some will go to the extreme of sabotaging your spikes (I’ve never seen this happen but I am sure some petty person has probably done this). Some may even just talk behind your back or in your face, depending on how “about that life” they are. In the instance you’ve got a nasty teammate, a fake teammate or the environment you’re in has shifted from good to bad this is my advice on getting back to healthy!
- Dealing with nasty Teammates. DON’T! There is no point in wasting your energy on someone who is just trying to bring you down to their level. These people are soul suckers just there to feed on drama and jealous that your going places. They want to be you but they can’t. They realize the only way for themselves to be happy is to bring you down with them. So to combat this ignore the haters and continue doing you Boo Boo. Yes, easier said than done. Trust me when I say actions speak louder than words. The reputation you create will always trump what anyone has to say about you. So make sure you’ve got a good one. If you don’t have a good one then start making some life changes. Feeding into their self-pity is a snake pit. Crabs in a bucket. Monkeys in a barrel. Choose your expression. Entertain a clown and you become a part of the circus.
2. Dealing with a Broken Relationship. This is a hard one because both have to understand that you need to admit your faults in the relationship. Sometimes this relationship is salvageable and sometimes it’s not. Just depends on the persons willingness to admit there is a problem and actually talk about what their problem is with you or vice versa. You need to admit your problem with them and talk about it. The easiest way to do this is to be the bigger person. Reach out and let them know, ” hey I have felt this way and I want to know if I did something or something happened to make you feel a certain way”. If they respond with “we are cool” but are acting different at training than their actions are not aligning with their words. It could be two things: 1. They are not ready to talk about the problem they have with you 2. They don’t know how to talk about the problem they have with you. (3. They don’t care about salvaging the relationship. Worse case scenario. Just leave this person alone) In either scenario it is up to that person to come clean. If you have genuinely reached out and showed concern and you recognize that you may or may not have done something to warrant a shift in behavior there is nothing more you can do. It is now up to that person to decide if the relationship you once shared is worth it. If you reach out and they respond with the issue they have with you try not to take offense. This will be hard. LISTEN to what they are saying and try to understand their perspective. Don’t play the blame game. Figure out the real issue and how to solve it. Once solved. Get back to happy!!
3. Dealing with a Fake Teammate. This is the person who talks behind your back but smiles in your face. You know this because the people they are talking to are either your close teammate friends or coaches. You’ve taken the steps to salvage a relationship but they continue to talk behind your back and smile in your face when you ask if everything is ok. You want to stay away from these people. Their intentions of why they are “friends” with you are never good. You always have some weird gut feeling about these ones that you normally choose to ignore because hey most people have good intentions. Not this one. The things these people say about you are just a reflection of their true nasty self. Pay attention to how the people in your surroundings talk about other people. Is it always positive or negative? If you are the Fake friend. Why? It’s just a waste of energy and when you mature you will realize all that nastiness was unnecessary and just rude. Spread positivity in the world there’s already enough bad stuff going on.
Spread positivity in the world there's already enough bad stuff going on. Click To Tweet
4. A shift in Environment. This is a tricky one. If you were having fun at first and then you all of sudden are having a horrible time there are a few things you want to ask yourself.
- Is it me? Has your attitude changed in regards to the views you have towards your teammates?
- If yes, did you talk about it with them? If you didn’t confront your teammates about the issues that you have with them YOU are the problem. Not them. If you did talk to them about the issues you have with them and they persist, talk it out with your coach and the teammates you are having issues with. I did this once in college and the girl I had an issue with ending up being one of the people I would call on for advice.
- If no, continue to 2.
- Is it them? Are they now acting a different way towards you? Think about the things you could have done differently to warrant a shift in attitude. Ask them what the problem is. If they don’t want to talk about it at that second give them a little time but continue to be your happy self. They will want to talk about it at some point in time when they are ready. If they do want to talk about it at that time then talk it out and get back to healthy!!
In both instances it always starts with YOU. So reflect on the things you have done, when the shift started and what you can do to change it. But never leave it unresolved.
The common theme of this article is communication. COMMUNICATION. TALKING. CONVERSING. If you’ve got a problem with someone be civil and talk it out. Most issues can be solved by just talking it out.
Did I miss a relationship dynamic? Drop a comment below. Got some tips on how to create a healthy relationship environment?